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Last Christmas, Robilee and Les invited us to a card game called Monte Carlo.� We played with 3 other couples and had a really fun evening.� Robilee and Les are in Florida, so Brad and I hosted a Monte Carlo night at our house last Saturday.� Barb and Chris, Reed and Melisha, and Tony and Angie were our playing partners.� We had a great time switching partners & enjoying our food & beverages.� I hope we can do it again!

HELP ! I'm addicted to EDWARD (Robert Pattinson) xx

I don't really know what to write. I don't have anything that I want to share or say, yet I'm bored and have nothing else to do. I think I'll just talk about my latest craze.

I went to see the new movie Twilight. I was highly surprised to find that I actually REALLY enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting to like it much at all. I loved the film so much that I started to read the books.

I read Twilight, discovering that it was much longer and better than the movie.

Then I read New moon. I had to control myself. My whole life revolved around these books. I had exams coming up and decided to quit reading (cold turkey). I was two days into my exams, when I caved and read Eclipse. Blame my friend Sam, for buying me the book for my birthday...knowing I couldn't read it!

Then I begged Paula to bring me out to buy Breaking Dawn for me. I've finished the books and am bored out of my brain !

Im still obsessing over Robert Pattinson though. The new upcoming hollywood actor (from England) I could probably tell you everything about him. He's my favourite. Well thats it really. I'd better go do my homework.

........Lorna........

"If you want happiness for an hour - take a nap. If you want happiness for a day - go fishing. If you want happiness for a year - inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime - help someone else."

You might think that your best friend might be hanging out with your boyfriend and they said all they were doing was talking.

But , you don't know if they are lieing or telling the truth.

Say you were at a resturant where your best friend said she was going to hang out with her friends.

Then you see her walk to your boyfriend and then they start kissin' eachother.

When your best friend leaves , you go up to your boyfriend and ask him why was he kissin' your best friend.

"Do you think that was right? We are gf and bf. I can't believe you would do this to me! We are freaking over forever! "

Now you feel so guilty and you don't know if you want to break up with your bf or break up with your best friend.

You go to your parents and tell them what had happened that night.

Then they go to your best friends parents and talk about what you had told them and your best friend gets grounded.

When you go to school your best friend made posters about you being a loser and your boyfriend left you because he thought your best friend was hotter than you.

You go to the princable and she gets expelled.

The next day she leaves you alone.

Your boyfriend sits with you for lunch and says he is so sorry for what had happened yesterday night.

Do you want to get back with him or find someone else?

Well, I hope all of this information was very helpful and be careful about picking a guy and ask�your best friend if she is kissin' your boyfriend because if she is then you should always say we are never going to be friends again.

Leave any comments here on why you think I have given you this information and why to be careful of who is your boyfriend and ask him questions and ask your friends.

�= �or

�= �or

You left with out a goodbye

And now I cant help but wonder why...

My heart is lost in a puddle of tears

So now I�have no choice but to face my fears...

With everday that passes bye

I wonder how I bought those lies...

How could you ever do this to me?

I�never thought you would be the enemy...

If�only I�had known what was to come

Then maybe I�would'nt be so numb...

Soon I�will let you go

I�probably should have a while ago...

Unlike those childhood�fairytales

This one ends in betrayal...

-Sportygirl15

right now, wife is snoring. I�tried sleeping on the floor, but sleep has not arrived so I journal.

I had some fantastic light bulb moments with my psych this week.

One is, that she read my "dark side" and didn't feel like it was dark at all. She said they were the extremities of my strengths. She likened me to the power of a jet engine on a 747. She said full throttle is only necessary on take off, after which cruising altitude and touchdown is about appropriate use of power, control, agility, poise, touch. Therefore with my intolerance, impatience, aggressiveness etc. that those qualities are "full raw power" that need to be moderated - not controlled, but handled with precision, touch, flair even.

In some situations, full power is uncalled for and even dangerous. Giving a 747 full throttle on landing would be disastrous. At home, intolerance and impatience is rarely called for, but in work areas perhaps or on social issues, may be vital.

I just need to learn to master the engine, direct and channel the power, find outlets and develop poise and touch.

I'm ok. My dark side is not really dark. It's me, it's who I am. Pysch said my dark side is not bad. It's unique, it's ok, it's me. It's just strengths. I'm ok. I�felt so good to realise that. You see I�have surpressed my dark side for so long. In my job as a pastor, there are expectations from people that I�can't really let down. It's not appropriate to be blunt, demanding, or impatient, yet that's often how I�feel. Oh the emotional energy I have expended on surpression....

Psych likened me more to Paul the Apostle, who was often very blunt, incisive, intolerant yet loving, merciful and wise. But he wasn't a pastor.... and probably that was a good thing.

I finish my work as a pastor next week after 8 years on staff at our church. As I discussed this with psych in relation to my "dark side" I realise this job was not appropriate for me, it didn't harness the entireity of who I am. Imagine being in a job and being able to me.... fully me!�Wow!�That would be awesome.

I'm thinking at the moment of politics. I�toyed with the idea of the policeforce but wife doesn't like that one... but I�think she's just controlled by fear... nonetheless, having to move all the time would be a pain in the A.

Indian warrior chief. The other image which I�found useful was the one of the warrior chief. You see I hate the idea of domestication, domesticity. I never want to be domesticated, to be housebound, tamed, emasculated. I was made to be wild, to live under the stars, to hunt and fish, to explore, take risks and live and adventure. It's male, it's raw and it's a life worth living. John Eldredge covers it so well with his book titled "wild at heart". That's what I am. The more pressure I'm under to conform to the usual life, the more I�resist and fight it.

So psych said that the indian warrior, goes out and fights the battles, hunts and gathers and returns to his family. But when he's with his family, he is quite child-like, playful, tender and nurturing. He doesn't go home and fight with his family (like I�used to fight with wife). And that really summed up the life that I long for... one of the warrior. I�think that might make a great tattoo.

Letter to Dad. I'm really competitive, can't say sorry cos that's admitting defeat. I�think the experience I had once as a teenager when my dad said "you never win" kind of overarches my life and forces me to win at all costs. That might make me so argumentative too... Anyway, I have to compose (not send) a letter to my dad expressing how that made me feel and the effect it had... processing I�guess. That's my homework.

My dreams have been tormenting me. Had one last night that abbey got hit by a work vehicle driven by and old contractor who was working and drove onto the road that she was crossing. She went under the vehicle and go hung up under it. She climbed out shaken but uninjured. Wife went ballistic at me, cos I�was walking her to daycare. Woke up in a sweat. I�always wake up in a sweat... exhausted.

Other dreams are bizzare. I�was scheduled to play bass in a Savage Garden gig, but the olympics were on and i had my own band that I�was competing with... our event was scheduled for 4.30pm but the program blew out and we didn't end up competing until 4.30am. I�waited there all nite and missed the savage garden gig. Woke up in a sweat.

I�doesn't matter whether I am olaying a game of soccer with a tennis ball, or being hunted by bad guys... the ending is always the same, I�wake up in a sweat, throw the covers off to let them dry and walk to the toilet and back to dry out before trying to go back to sleep.

I�could have three of these dreams a night, all totally unconnected and seemingly random. What's the cause of this?